Fearless

Life is hard. There are so many choices, so many roads, so many ways to go. But there is also so much joy and happiness that can be found in every moment. Lately I've had to make some pretty interesting decisions. They aren't all made yet, but at least I made a dent. I paid $150 on my credit card today. That's a dent. Going along with this money stuff, I had a revelation on Sunday that I can't even think of moving forward with Danny until I get this debt paid off. That's not fair to him and it would cause a lot of unnecessary tension. So I have to hurry and get rid of it. May is my goal! I can do it! Speaking of Danny, what a cute, amazing, wonderful guy. I'm so stinkin' lucky. However, he's the main reason for all these choices I'm now having to make. I decided this week that I am going to graduate in August. What am I going to do in the fall you may ask? Well, I don't know either. I think tonight I will talk to Danny and just tell him, "Danny, I have some choices to make for my future. Do you want to be a part of those choices?" If it's a yes, we'll worry about that when it comes up. But if it's a no, adios my dear. I don't think it will be a no though. Today has been a "I want to make Melinda fat!" day. This morning I found a box of Strawberry Special-K on my shelf. He taped candy and notes all over it that said, "You are berry berry special to me!" Cute! And then when I was getting my backpack ready, I found a box of chocolates in it with a note saying, "You're so sweet!" The best so far is when I got to work. I came in and Aleks was really happy to see me. I looked on the counter and there was a ton of Valentine's stuff. I was like "Aleks, who gave you all of this?" She looked at me like I was stupid and then I realized that my name was on it. He left me a plate of cookies, a stuffed animal poopie (puppy), a bag of M&M's and a note. M: Magnificent, E: Entertaining, L: Linda (Spanish translation is pretty, beautiful), I: Intelligent, N: Nonchalant, D: Drop dead gorgeous, A: Awesome. Oh boy! He also left a bunch of paper cranes. It took me a little while to realize they were there because of his last name. I'm a quick one! Tonight we're going to dinner and then having some special dessert. He won't tell me because he doesn't want me to go home after the dinner...which is what I would normally do. Not really. So school is going well. I've been doing pretty well on tests, papers, and other assignments so far. I've also been studying probably more than I ever have. That's what you get when your boyfriend is a study fanatic. But that's a good thing. Oh, back to life being hard. It is hard, but I've learned that you just have to jump in and put all doubts aside. I know that God will watch over me and as long as I'm doing what I need to be doing, he will guide and direct me in little ways that I won't even be able to recognize. I just have to take that first step and lose all my doubts. Be fearless!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Be Where Your Feet Are

The past couple of days have been so hard. There are so many stresses in my life right now. Danny Boy, debt, school, money, family, my spirituality, my CALLING. Everything just seems to be piling up. While many of these things aren't stresses all the time, they do play a major role in my life. This week is Thanksgiving break and I should be looking forward to a relaxing time spent with family, but instead I get to stress out about the 6 papers that are due the week I come back. I love learning, but I don't exactly enjoy writing ridiculous amounts of papers. This semester it seems that I've been so caught up in everything that I haven't really enjoyed the moment. I haven't found joy in the journey. This semester, Cassandra Barney came and gave a lecture to WRI. In it she discussed this painting. It is titled "Be Where Your Feet Are." In the lecture, we talked about why it was important to enjoy the moment and take everything in. I need to remember that there is a time to be stressed and to work on papers, but there is also a time to enjoy being with others and having fun. I think I've been mixing the two and my fun has been miserable...or at least not as fun. I'm going to really try over the break to be where my feet are and to not be distracted by meaningless things. I need to be more like a child in that aspect. It is so easy for kids to forget and enjoy life. They don't carry around those stupid worries. They are just themselves. I can do it!

Work that Up-do.

Oh the joys of life! This past weekend was General Conference. I love listening to the voice of the prophet and other Church leaders. It always brings peace to my life. The big themes I noticed this year were love, listening to the Spirit, service, and doing your best and being better everyday. These were things that I really needed to hear, even though I didn't necessarily pray for these things. The Lord just knew I needed them, along with the rest of the world. Saturday I went to conference with Nathan. We drove up to Salt Lake and got tickets to the morning session and then we watched the afternoon session in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. I only fell asleep during one talk. Shocking! On the way home, we had an interesting conversation about dating and the like. Sometimes I worry that I'm too open with some people. I mean it's good to talk and feel comfortable, but at the same time, it's not so good to tell them everything about you. Saturday night we heart attacked all the guys apartments while they were at the Priesthood session. We tried to steal some pumpkins, but that didn't go over so well and we just ended up stealing cookies. Boys should really lock their doors. That night Kayla, Celeste, Ken, Dean, Nathan, Danny, and I went to Kiwanis to fly kites and roll down the hill. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. It felt so good.
Sunday we(Kayla, Me, Ken, Danny, Justin, Nathan, Brian, Brian's girlfriend Sharon, and Dean) all went to Dean's house to watch the afternoon session. It was really nice to be in a home, but of course I always miss my family when I do that. We went on a walk afterward. Here are a few snapshots from our photo shoot.







Clearly I only associate with extremely talented people!
Anyway, here's a thought I had today as I was walking to work. The air was crisp, the leaves are changing colors, people were rushing to class, and there was just a spectacular ambiance around campus. Suddenly a song came on my ipod that just made me strut, totally unknowingly, I must admit. I thought, "Dang, I feel like I'm in a movie." I think I'm justified in this assumption. Think about it. I can come up with a few examples where people are just walking and then the music strikes up and they're like, "Oh, I look good. Look at me and my bad self." Examples: Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama, Michelle Pfeifer in One Fine Day, Amanda Bynes in What a Girl Wants, and plenty more. Maybe this only happens in chick flicks...no, all of the guys do it in Oceans 11. So what is the point of this? If you want to feel good about yourself, dress it up, go on a walk, and put on some tunes. You'll feel better in no time. Kind of like Danny.

The Fall of the Banshee

I love Fall. It is definitely my favorite season...even though I say that about pretty much every season. Fall carries such a distinct feeling of newness and clarity. Things are fresh. School starts and people are happy to be doing something productive. I love it! Plus the leaves change and the air gets cool and crisp and it really is perfect for just a few short weeks and then winter enters the scene. Life is so exciting!

Today I read my roommate's blog. Andria is so deep and intuitive about life. I could never think like her, much less write something like that on here. It really is a gift. So while I'm fine with not writing like that, I do hope I can share some of my thoughts and craziness. For that is what I am- c, to the r, to the azy. I've realized recently that there are a few things that I would like to change about myself, but they are just second nature and everybody knows me because of these things. For example, my screams. Everyone and their dog knows who, where, what I am because of my distinct screams. Also my laughter. I laugh like a banshee. It's like a cackle. Mix that with my convulsions and that's how I laugh. It's ridiculous and I sometimes feel bad for people when they have to hear me laugh. "Sorry." Oh well. I'm actually secretly ok with these habits, too. They make me unique, right? Funny side note. Yesterday, Kenz, Kayla, and I were talking about some girls in our ward and we said how funny it is that they were all really quite girls and really good friends. Then we realized that we're such great friends because we're loud. Funny how that works! Guess you guys are my roommates.

More like Falling with Style

Recently I've received multiple cases of smack from various people dealing with my great gift and ability to quote movies. These people, who shall not be named, seem to believe that I cannot carry on a full conversation without inserting some sort of movie line. I concede that I must agree with them. However, many things I say repeatedly aren't from movies at all. I just say them so much that they could be from a movie because people like them. For example, when I say "Hook that motha up!" this is not from a movie, just a small piece of heaven that I integrated into my daily vocabulary. Other times, yes, I do admit that I go slightly overboard in my use of movie quotes and phrases. This enlightened discovery has led me to undergo intense treatment and therapy for my problem. This treatment method involved abstaining from the quoting of movies for a whole day. Monday, a date which will live in infancy because of course I never was able to fully satisfy the demands of my treatment method, was to be the day where I would put my quoting abilities aside and talk like a normal person. That lasted until approximately 1:00 pm, at which time my track record was ruined due to a discussion concerning tortillas and salads. Nacho Libre. Gets me every time. But from those brief hours in which my quoting capabilities were no longer employed, I did realize that I do have a problem. What is the solution, you may ask? Live more in the now and not in the movies.

Today I'm wearing yellow shoes. Life is complete.